What does utterly abandoning yourself to God really mean?
The definition of abandon, according to Webster’s, is:
1 a : to give up to the control or influence of another person
or agent b : to give up with the intent of never again claiming
a right or interest in
2 : to withdraw from often in the face of danger or encroachment <abandon
ship>.
Admittedly, this is a frightening concept. Who really wants to let go completely? When danger looms
the most natural response is “fight or flight”. In doing either option you’re
probably thinking about your own self-preservation.
God calls us to total trust and reliance upon Him and His power. It’s a constant call. We don’t have to
wait for danger to release our self-control in favor of God’s.
If, in fact, you only turn to God when you are afraid or overwhelmed
then you’re not living a real life of faith. We all
know there are no atheists in foxholes.
An ongoing reliance on God’s power, guidance and encouragement
in each and every day is a worthy goal. Ideally every waking
moment, but begin where you can. There are many days when
I am continually confronting “letting go”. I leave
so many claw marks.
Help Me, I Think I’m Falling
I have never bungee jumped, but I imagine there is a sense of abandonment
in doing that. Much like skydiving (which I have also never done). I do like
excitement, but I also crave security and certainty. To the extent that I
will not completely abandon to God do I hold back my growth in faith.
Abandonment makes me fearful. I have thoughts of being defenseless. This
is not the idea of abandonment to God. I think giving up our self will
to the love and care of God better conveys it. Still, the greatest struggle
for us all is the one over who gets to control our lives: God or us?
Oswald Chambers speaks to this subject in the
daily devotional, My
Utmost for His Highest. He likens real abandonment
to God as complete surrender. His comment about why so many
of us refuse to do it for the right reasons strikes me to the
core. “Our motive for surrender should not be for any
personal gain at all. We have become so self-centered that we
go to God only for something from Him, and not for God Himself”.
I Will If You Will
Our longing for God must travel beyond this idea of transaction; that
if I give to God He will give to me. He gives to all of us, both good and
bad.
I’m not sure if I will achieve this true surrender for
anything more than a few minutes at a time. However, I must
strive onward. Like so many of the wonderful mysteries of God’s
love, it is a gift. Do I choose to accept it? It is so hard
to get away from a performance-based mentality.
In this Lenten season, we can remember that our human struggle
with giving up our control, our need to control, is part of
the walk.
Abandon yourself to God as best you can. Pray for courage,
pray for willingness. Our salvation is deliverance from ourselves
into perfect union with God. Be grateful that He took the first
step and sent His son. He completely and absolutely gave Himself
to us. Now it is our turn.
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"If
anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take
up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever
wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his
life for me will save it. What good is it for a man to
gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?"