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Becoming a Prayer |
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By Tom Gilbert
Prayer is not primarily words that
we say, formulas that we recite, postures that we maintain,
or rituals
that we perform. These are hopefully the results and expressions
of the prayer that we are, and yet we often must do these very
things to reconnect with the prayer that we are. That is the
paradox, the bit of "doing" that reminds us and hopefully
regrounds us in our Deepest Being. It is not a practice that
turns God on. "Why do you babble on as the pagans do," Jesus
says. It is a practice that turns us on - to who we really are
- and who we no longer need to be. - Richard Rohr
I am discovering, and even surrendering to the idea (at least
a little bit at a time), that walking the path of spiritual
progress is less and less about the how and why.
That may seem like a grave contradiction. How can anyone possibly
get on a spiritual path without knowing how to do that? We all
realize that a starting point is the only place to begin and
the proper motivation to begin a spiritual journey usually comes
from the purpose (the why) and once convinced we want directions
(the how). I’m not denying any of that, in fact, I’m
asserting it.
Nevertheless, I don’t believe this invalidates my opening
statement. One of the mysteries of the journey is that the more
you know the less you know. My experience tells me the bigger
your faith the greater the need for expansion. Continual open-mindedness
and willingness is crucial. Here is the basis for true humility.
So if our progress becomes less about knowledge and reason it
must be something else.
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A Collision of Opposites
It is my belief that the answers, in so
far as we can call them answers, reside in the reconciliation
of contradiction. Essentially cracking open the paradox and
finding that the whole is more than black-white, right-wrong,
yes-no and other simplistic ways of looking at things. I know
the attraction of simplicity and rationality. We all want things
to be clear-cut and easy. The beauty of my personal discovery
is that the wrestling over the collision of opposites induces
continual growth. The only way it won’t is if we throw
our hands up in the air and quit. Instead of quitting we can
try acceptance. Set aside our disagreeable nature and allow
the conflict to just be. Force yourself to look at all the
sides and then sit with it.
Jesus taught that the only way to understand spiritual truth
(the things of heaven) was to be reborn in the spirit. Our
essence is spiritual – we are spiritual beings living
a human experience. Clearly we are all more than flesh and
blood. Without the new birth ()
we are limited to an experience that is mostly physical, mental and emotional.
And we hardly understand this reality – small wonder
that we struggle with spiritual concepts!
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Letting Go
You’ve probably encountered the phrase, “let
go and let God”.
Essentially it means trust that we don’t have to figure everything
out or be in control. Indeed we can not. We are lacking in
the ability – the
power – to understand and control our lives. This is not abdicating
responsibility; it owns up to the futility of living out of
self will.
I’ve spent a lot of time wrestling with and eventually accepting
this. If self propulsion is not the right way of living then
there must be something else I must turn my will over to. This
surrender means I no longer live for me. I am to become a part of something
bigger,
a community of faith united in one spirit.
The problem is the tendency to slide back into selfish living.
As soon as you get two or more together we all tend to view
things through our perspectives. Unless we are opened up to the benefit
of a changed collective perspective guided by a loving and Divine Spirit we will revert
to what we know. It’s not surprising. Old ways are comfortable. New
things are scary.
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A New Way of Seeing
The change in perspective is not an overnight
matter (at least not in my experience). It’s a process.
Now that I’ve accepted it a new way of living is set
before me. It’s a new way of being, a continual rebirth.
Some call it a spiritual awakening. The terminology is not
so important. You can call is a psychic change. Regardless,
it is radically different – a new reality.
Have you discovered that when you begin to seek in certain
areas you start to get input and answers from lots of places,
frequently unexpected, strange and delightful sources? Thus
it has been with me lately in the area of contemplation, solitude
and stillness. I’m in no danger of becoming a guru on
the subject. Maybe all I’ve done in the past year is
dip my toe in the water.
The results have been intriguing. I’m sensing constantly
and in different ways how important it is to get centered and
still and to turn my intent to God. There’s a wealth
of teaching and information about meditation and quite a bit
of it focuses on technique and focused attention. This doesn’t
work well for me. However, the idea of resting in the presence
of God by letting my thoughts come and go while continually
returning my intent to God is different. Thomas Keating, a
monk who has done much for the centering prayer movement, is
a proponent of this idea. His book Open Mind,
Open Heart is considered a primer by many centering prayer practitioners.
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Something Unexpected
Out of my brief entry into this way of prayer
I’ve discovered something unexpected…and quite delightful. I’m
becoming a prayer. There’s no doubt in my busy mind that
getting still is key. In Richard Mahler’s “Stillness:
Daily Gifts of Solitude” he lays out many practical reasons
for finding time in each day for inner solitude and quiet.
It’s not necessary to go on an extended retreat or wilderness
getaway (as he did for 90 days in the remote northern New Mexico
Mountains). Extended and short retreats have their benefit.
However, from a discipline of regular centering prayer one
can learn to seek God by a silent turning of our will to God.
It’s not a litany of words or a wrestling with theological
matters; it’s not worship songs or scripture reading.
All of those activities have benefit. But, just intentionally
turning to God in a conscious way reminds me that God is ever
present and I just need to be still and know that ().
A very concrete benefit of this practice is a growing tendency
to truly be in the present. Most moments are filled with our
thoughts and feelings and most definitely we spend a large
amount of time fretting about the future or mulling over the
past. How can we be present with God if we don’t allow
ourselves the surrender from the tyranny of the clock? Timepieces
always remind us of things we must do, places to go, or what’s
already passed.
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Embrace the Sacred
When I choose to be in the now and to be
a prayer there is a dreamy timelessness to the moment. It’s neither an
escape nor a fuzzy feel-good attitude. It’s an embrace
of something sacred.
When I choose to turn my intent and will over to this spirit-filled
state I can do things out of the ordinary. I can smile more.
When I pass people, even complete strangers, I can “shoot” a
prayer at them. Arrows of love spring forth. Grace and mercy
are embraced. It’s not me – it’s God’s
Spirit living in/through/with me. This was Jesus’ fervent
prayer that we may be one just as he and the Father are one
().
How and why this happens is not as important as it happening.
Try it – believe and become a living prayer.
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Scripture taken from the Holy Bible,
NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®.Copyright © 1973, 1978,
1984 International Bible Society. All rights reserved throughout
the world. Used by permission of International Bible Society.
NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION® and NIV® are registered trademarks
of International Bible Society. Use of either trademark for
the offering of goods or services requires the prior written
consent of International Bible Society.
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible,
New Living Translation, copyright ©1996. Used by permission
of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, IL 60189, USA. All
rights reserved.
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"pray continually; give
thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you
in Christ Jesus. "
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(NIV)
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