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How Many Times Must I Die? |
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Article by Tom Gilbert — September 2004
Here’s something you don’t
want to think about – dying.
Death is the natural outcome of life. Despite all
we do to prolong our lives it is inevitable. Sooner
or later all of us will face death. Everyone dies.
No one knows for certain when death will come, but
when we encounter it we are changed.
We are all touched by death. The resulting grief is
real, traumatic and hard to process. Just days ago
a friend called to tell me his brother died of a drug
overdose. My daughter’s high school has had a
few more suicides. Men, women and children are dying
in Iraq and Sudan. Nature is unleashing her fury with
hurricanes that barrel through Florida and have taken
lives.
Everything dies. Not everything ends. Death is the
doorway to new life. Of course, the harsh reality of
a life ending often obscures this view. When a loved
one passes we are shaken to our core. Our preoccupations
with our agendas suddenly seem small. We are stopped
in our tracks. We face the Great Reality.
All of life is a journey towards death…and letting go.
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"I Woke Up This Morning to the Empty
Sky"
As I write this I am listening to Bruce Springsteen’s “The Rising”,
an album full of songs that echo the loss and grief many of us
experienced that fateful day three years ago, September
11, 2001. Our reality was shaken by an unthinkable
event. Hijacked airliners crashed into the World Trade Centers
in New York City and the Pentagon in Washington D.C.
One plane flight ended in a field in Pennsylvania.
We all have vivid memories of that day when the lives of
so many innocent people were extinguished in a few short hours.
Springsteen’s songs on this release are not
full of condemnation or retribution. Mostly they deal
with the loss: the empty apartment, the father who
won’t return home, the firemen climbing the stairs
into an inferno and the lonesome days that followed
as a country mourned.
When death comes unexpectedly we are jolted by its
cruelness. Our anger, denial and fear must come before
any acceptance.
If we see death coming the specter may hover over
us like a dark cloud, but the moments of closure when
loved ones can gather around and make peace can profoundly
change us for the better.
There can be regret when someone dies and we feel our chance to say goodbye is missed.
My sister’s husband Rob died of Leukemia at 38. The end was painful
and drawn out, but Rob bore it with the grace that
only God can provide. While family members spent those
last days with him in the hospital I was a thousand
miles away. I missed the personal goodbye. Still, I
know that somehow Rob and I connected…before
and after. While I cried at the funeral I couldn’t
shake the peace and joy that I knew he was (is) in.
Two years ago my wife lost both her grandmothers in
the space of three days. They were special women who
lived long and full lives. Their passing brought together
a large gathering of family and friends. Their presence
is still very much felt today.
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Not Alone
One of the reasons I find Scripture
whole and holy is precisely because it doesn’t shy away from the
reality of death and grief. The story of Job, the tears
of Lamentations, and the cries of the Psalms share life’s
journey in its fullness. When death strikes and grief
overwhelms us these stories bring comfort because
the experience is shared. We are not alone in this.
Still, each of us must die our own death. We are all
called to take up our cross. Life and death are experiential,
not theory.
If we truly embrace the others in our lives – those
we know and those we don’t – then each
death will feel a bit like dying ourselves. And we
will know loneliness, sadness and grief. And we will
become freer.
The great mystery for us is that we must die before we die. “I tell you the truth, unless a kernel
of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only
a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.” (John
12:24) Christ showed us in this statement that all
of God’s creation exhibits this pattern. Birth,
life, death…harvest.
My own journey has brought me through repeated dying.
I have experienced the death of self-will and the death
of misunderstanding, prejudice and legalism. This pattern,
like the seasons, seems to regularly repeat itself.
How many times must I die? Physically — just once. On the spiritual path the experience
may be continual. Everyday requires surrender. I’m finding that
the journey is worth it and that abundant life is fertilized
by my many small deaths.
At the end of this earthly life we can follow our Lord by releasing our earthly bonds,
shaking off our mortal coil, and proclaiming as He did, “Father,
into thy hands I commit my spirit!” (Luke 23:46)
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Scripture taken from the
Holy Bible, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®.Copyright ©
1973, 1978, 1984 International Bible Society. All rights
reserved throughout the world. Used by permission of International
Bible Society.
NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION® and NIV® are registered
trademarks of International Bible Society. Use of either
trademark for the offering of goods or services requires
the prior written consent of International Bible Society.
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy
Bible, New Living Translation, copyright ©1996. Used
by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton,
IL 60189, USA. All rights reserved.
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1 THESSALONIANS 5:23 |
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"May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you
through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and
body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus
Christ." |
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