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Lessons From My Daughter |
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By Tom Gilbert
“Don’t you believe me, Daddy? Huh, don’t
you?”
My daughter bats those beautiful brown eyes as she looks up at me with the look that
melts a thousand resolves. She is hugging tight her stuffed Rudolph.
Yes, he of the “red-nosed” fame.
All of four years, she is filled with the wonder and awe that only young children
seem to possess. Part of me senses that she is developing that trait all
fathers eventually discover. The one that makes it so easy to wrap us around their little fingers. At
this moment it matters not. At this moment I’d give her the world if she asked.
Fast forward ten years to new occasions of wants, desires and demands from my daughter. Caught between
child and womanhood, the curse of teenage hormones morphs her from cutie-pie to defiant rebel in the twinkling
of those brown eyes.
What amazing lessons she has taught me!
One of the many things that constantly surprise me as a parent is how little I
feel I know about raising children when things are going tough…and how
much I think I know when it’s smooth sailing!
I’m virtually a parenting guru when everybody is happy.
When the kids are behind closed doors pouting is often when I’m in the valley
of despair.
Despite the highs and lows I’ve discovered that the journey is really rewarding. I’m learning
some great things about living.
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Some of the lessons I’ve learned from my daughter:
I can be right – or I can be serene.
This, too, shall pass.
There will be fights – and there will be forgiveness.
Being a friend means looking out for the best interests
of others, even when your friend doesn’t see it.
Friends are really important.
Never lose your sense of wonder.
I’m not that different from my children – and
my parents.
Everybody struggles with peer pressure, even many years
after high school.
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An Honest Relationship
What should be evident from the above is that having
children and being a parent is very much like learning
to live in an honest relationship with God. No wonder
that God came to us in the form of His son. On a gut
level, deep down where it really matters, we are touched
by this. There is no greater love than parent to child.
There is no greater pain than that felt by the rejection
or abandonment of this sacred union.
Ultimately we face the same situation that our loving
and good Heavenly Father does with each of us. We discover
that no love is really meaningful unless it is freely
given. I cannot force my daughter to love me. That
would not be love at all, either from her or from me.
Real, true and honest love is freely given and freely received. I readily admit it is
bigger than me. I’m incapable of expressing it fully without God’s
help; the help that I call grace.
Bend, Don’t Break
I’m not sure what the greatest lesson is that
I’ve learned from my daughter. Maybe I haven’t
been taught it yet. There is one that is very important
and carries high ranking, though. It is the lesson
that we all need to be “cut a little slack”.
Being judgmental, intolerant or unforgiving is relationship
poison. It may be a high-wire act to balance on the
thin line of discipline and trust, but it is worth it.
There are still days when Kristen will snuggle up next to me on the couch and give
me the “don’t you believe me” goo-goo eyes. And I love it!
Maybe the best lessons are the ones we learn while trying to teach.
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Scripture
taken from the Holy Bible, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®.Copyright © 1973,
1978, 1984 International Bible Society. All rights
reserved throughout the world. Used by permission of
International Bible Society.
NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION® and NIV® are registered trademarks
of International Bible Society. Use of either trademark for the offering
of goods or services requires the prior written consent of International
Bible Society.
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible,
New Living Translation, copyright ©1996. Used by permission
of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, IL 60189, USA. All rights
reserved.
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PSALM 16:7-9
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"I
will praise the LORD , who counsels me; even at night
my heart instructs me. I have set the LORD always
before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will
not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my
tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure."
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(NIV)
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