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Youth Ministry –
Let the Young People Come To Me |
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By Tom Gilbert
- March, 2003
In
many ways, the only real difference between young people
and the ones with some years on their odometer is that
for youth many of life’s experiences are new or
yet to happen.
It’s important to realize that we all are going
through the same struggles, the same search for meaning,
the same challenges that life brings. Eventually, we discover
the real answers are basically the same. The difference
is our experience. Personal experience teaches best.
Maybe the hardest thing, for both young and old, is how
to accept the help of others when we really want to find
the answers ourselves. It is vitally important that we
become willing to accept teaching from others. Being teachable
is a virtue; it’s a form of humility. Knowing how
to pass on our experiences for the benefit of others is
also a virtue.
When we resist the personal soul-searching and look for
others to give us the answers, we eventually discover
we must do the hard work ourselves. No doubt, you won’t
find true meaning until you do experience for yourself
the love God has for you. Others can tell you about it
in the most persuasive terms, but until you’ve opened
your arms and accepted that big hug God wants to give
you’ll never know the reality of it. It just remains
someone else’s story and largely a theory.
When I was a teenager the angst was sometimes overwhelming.
“My parents just don’t understand” was
a constant theme. I escaped to music and like-minded peers.
The feelings were often so intense and I didn’t
have the experience in life to see that pretty much everyone
feels this way growing up!
Now that I have children of my own, including a teenager
daughter, I’m on the other end of this. My daughter
frequently retreats to her “world” of music
and peers. Her attitude often reflects the struggle of
her growing pains. It’s so hard to not try to “fix”
that.
There are some startling statistics about young people.
Mostly we hear about all the negative things, like drugs,
sex and suicide. Surely a relationship with Christ can
help. According to the Billy Graham Evangelical Association
85% of the people who accept Christ do so before the age
of 18. Sadly, 88% of teenagers are not being reached by
any church (First Priority, a publication of Luis Palau
Evangelistic Association).
Youth ministry is a special calling in the body of Christ.
The Spirit gives everyone gifts. Thanks be to God that
certain people are gifted in teaching and participating
in the lives of young people. How these gifted ones share
the Gospel and put their love into action with our youth
is the focus of this article. I hope that you will gain
some insight that helps you in your encounters with others,
especially your own children, or your peers.
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In the Trenches
I
asked several questions of two youth ministers. One,
Dave Lewis of SoulRio Church (soulrio.com)
is involved in the lives of young people in Rio Rancho,
New Mexico. The other, Brandon Jubar, lives in Michigan
and surrounds himself with mostly teenagers in his parish
and youth ministry and his Parishwebmaster.com
Internet project provides fresh content to many churches’
websites. Both are very active and involved. They have
that special empathy for today’s youth and they’ve
got that spark, that passion for the Lord and loving
others.
This is immeasurably helpful in their ministering.
What type of person does it take to be a youth
minister?
Brandon: The first word that pops into
my mind is "understanding"... but I think I
need to unpack that a little. The people that seem to
do the best in youth ministry have a knack for not only
hearing, but truly listening to what teens are saying,
and then understanding the real issue(s). A good youth
minister knows when to be quiet and listen, but knows
how to ask the kind of open-ended questions that can draw-out
a teen. Part of understanding is also knowing when to
be supportive and when to take a stand on an issue.
Dave: To be a youth minister it takes
a lot of the right stuff. I guess if I narrowed it down,
it would all come down to whether or not you love youth
and parents of youth. I’ve seen the most boring
youth ministers with almost no personality become the
most effective youth pastors simply because they loved
the youth and their families.
Youth ministry, if you stick with it, gets better and
better. I don’t think God calls you to do something
and then lets you struggle with it for years. The longer
you do youth ministry, the higher up the hill you get
and the easier it becomes. If you are growing as you go
and you keep your relationship with God first, your experiences
will make you stronger. Of course, it is wise to have
a “band of brothers” that can help you. I’ve
learned so much by hearing about and reading about other
youth pastors that have blown it in certain areas. I don’t
have time to make all those mistakes and then learn by
them. So, I learn from others' mistakes. Some of those
things are funny and some are pretty sad. It goes both
ways, and it is healthy for us to share our mistakes and
what we’ve learned with other youth ministries.
How did you get involved in this ministry?
Brandon: I joined our Parish youth group
when I was a teenager in high school, then I stayed on
as a young adult volunteer after graduation. Here we are
18 years later, and they couldn't get rid of me if they
tried!
Dave: I became a Christian at an early
age. But it was later that I really took ownership in
my Faith and it became very personal. I had youth leaders
that were comical and really knew how to have fun. The
way that I started in youth ministry was that I just started
doing it. I volunteered for everything that I could, even
if it was helping with a skit or passing out flyers. I
think a lot of people get the idea that to start in the
ministry they have to go to school first or become ordained
or licensed or something like that. A lot of those guys
are miserable for a long time. I just started doing it.
Then when I got paid for it, it was like God confirming
his support and love for me.
God took a guy that was eighteen and fired up about life
and started giving me all these experiences that helped
me move to the next level of ministry. I guess you could
say that I just got in the fight and started fighting.
Now, I’m still fighting that fight, but I’m
leading others in the fight and I’m developing strategies
and sending out armies. When I started in youth ministry,
I had no idea what it would lead to. I was just willing
to do whatever and I had a personal motto that I would
fail at many things but I would never fail at loving the
Lord my God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength.
A great book that I wish I’d read twenty years ago
is Your First Two Years In Youth Ministry by
Doug Fields.
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What
unique challenges do youth face today?
Dave: There are many. The ones I try
to hit on are the ones I know every youth faces at one
time or another. Things like relationships, friends, family,
not so much “where will I spend eternity?”
as much as “what about my problems right now?”
Instead of focusing on any one challenge or problem, I
talk to them about God’s purpose in my problems.
We do a ministry that is crazy and pushes the borders
of youth ministry. Some people are critical, usually the
traditional “raised in church” youth and parents
that are into themselves and not reaching other youth.
We try to break down the walls that God is out to kill
any fun. Youth are pressured every day to do drugs, drink
alcohol, and have sex. So, we create an atmosphere that
they can bring their friends to and give them positive
peer pressure.
Brandon: Youth today face much greater uncertainty
about virtually every aspect of life. I believe that's
why many youth are drawn to more fundamentalist churches.
In a world of uncertainty, they are grasping for something
resembling stability. I think youth ministers do teens
a grave disservice when they are wishy-washy about important
moral issues. We don't have to be judge and jury, but
teens need adults who will at least tell them, in no uncertain
terms, what the church says is right and wrong.
Talk about being relatable and relevant.
Brandon: Many adults are afraid of being
involved in youth ministry because they don't know the
latest music, slang or whatever else comprises that thing
we call "youth culture". Frankly, that's a bunch
of hooey. You don't have to be "cool" to be
relatable to teens. In fact, many teens love to have the
ear of an adult who reminds them of their parents! Imagine
being able to get your parents' thoughts and opinions
on a problem without the fear of reprisal! :-)
Being relevant is the easiest part of all -- if you just
hush-up and listen for a while, the teens will tell you
what is truly relevant to them. A good Youth Ministry
program will obviously have goals and objectives, and
to that end there is a certain "agenda" at every
event. But if we want to be relevant to teens, we need
to leave our personal agendas at the door and talk about
what the teens need to talk about. And definitely tone-down
the preaching and when-I-was-your-age stuff.
Dave: Relatable and relevant comes from
listening to youth. When you listen to them then you get
into their world. Listening more than talking is a lot
better than reading a million books on relating to youth.
Post modern thinking - is it a big factor, and
how so?
Dave: Post modern thinking is a big factor.
If you miss out on the trends and the way post-moderns
think, then you will not be as evangelistic as you think
you are.
Brandon: I think you'd be hard-pressed
to find a teenager who could tell you what post modern
thinking is. I also think you'd be hard- pressed to find
a teenager who isn't exposed to it every day and who doesn't,
to some degree or other, agree with the concept of relativity.
As I said earlier, teens are struggling with uncertainty
more than ever -- and post modern thinking is probably
at the root of it all. To say that we are all capable
of interpreting God's word and coming up with the "truth"
is absurd. God's truth is God's truth. Perhaps in psychology
there are times when it is appropriate to say, "What's
true for you is not necessarily true for me." But
extrapolating that to cover God's truth just doesn't fly.
Youth Ministry needs to combat post modern thinking. We
need to be counter-culture in that regard and start sharing
God's truth with our teens.
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Share some of the things you are doing that you feel God inspired
Brandon: Right now I'm putting a great
deal of energy into an online ministry effort through
my Web site, ParishWebmaster.com.
We syndicate articles to Parish and Youth Ministry Web
sites, updated weekly via javascript. Then we send a customized
eZine to each Parish or Youth Ministry email distribution
list, linking readers back to the articles on the client's
Web site. We call it Effortless eMinistry, because once
it's set-up, it runs itself.
My journey to this eMinistry began with a youth group
Web site back in '99 and has blossomed into a multi-Parish
effort, as well as a Media Partnership with our Diocesan
publication that reaches out to over 2000 teens every
month.
Dave: We meet in people’s home.
It helps youth focus on God and it takes away the distractions
of the building, steeples and structures. Those aren’t
bad things but they can blur the vision of youth today.
It is also an easier way to bring kids that may not come
to church.
Discuss some methods that work for your youth ministry
Dave: Basically, what I said above. Our
method is largely relational. Listening and hanging out
with kids is so much more effective than having a big
event and then it’s all over. We live and breathe
hanging out with kids, listening to them, and sharing
our lives with them.
Brandon: Currently I'm a volunteer with
our Parish Youth Ministry program, and my guiding principle
is "focus on the fringe." Our Youth Minister
needs to be able to concentrate on leading and guiding
the group, and on developing teen leaders and peer ministers.
It's my responsibility to watch out for the teens that
slip through the cracks. I talk to the kid who sits by
himself. I hang out with the girl who is mentally challenged
and has trouble relating to other teens. I'm the adult
who talks about alternative music to the teens with the
multitude of body piercings. I focus on the teens who
are on the fringes of the group, and often the fringes
of society as well.
In a more general ministry context, we're beginning to
lose ground to other activities that are available to
teens. Fifteen years ago, teens came to youth group because
it was the only place where they really felt like a part
of a community. Even sports teams and other "team"
activities did not focus on the relational aspect very
much.
Today, EVERYTHING focuses on building community, camaraderie
and fellowship. The Church youth group no longer has a
corner on the market. And not only can they find that
community spirit elsewhere, it is combined with a very
clear-cut goal. Whether it is winning the next game, or
performing the play in front of a packed auditorium, there
is some sort of finale -- a final payout -- at the end.
Youth Ministers need to start looking at ways of providing
similar experiences. Whether it is through service-related
events or some other sort of goal-oriented activity, youth
groups need to do something different. And the comment
that "we have Jesus to offer, and no sports team
has that" is simply a cop-out. It's no different
than saying, "If they don't want to come -- fine!
Who needs 'em anyway?"
We are not competing with other youth groups. We are competing
with EVERYTHING else that a teen could do instead. It's
high time we face up to that and stop making excuses.
How important is the Internet in this ministry and how are you utilizing it?
Brandon: The Internet is VERY important
to this ministry. We maintain an email distribution list
for our Youth Group and utilize it every week. We send
out LifeTimes Catholic TeenZine, which has the full text
of an editorial called The Youth Minister's Minute, as
well as a digest of two or three new articles and links
to the full text of the articles on the Youth Ministry
Web site. We also send out email reminders a few days
before every youth group meeting, and attendance has increased
dramatically.
The Youth Ministry Web site, in addition to other things,
has a calendar of upcoming events, as well as links to
download the necessary permission slips and other forms.
The final piece, which many youth ministers forget, is
instant messaging. I use a program called Trillian, which
allows me to instant message teens who use AIM, MSN, Yahoo,
ICQ, and a number of other programs. There are certain
teens who aren't able to attend meetings very often, yet
I have gotten to know them very well by IM-ing with them.
The potential of the Internet as a tool for ministry is
simply mind-boggling, but it's going to take some work.
Many in youth ministry are terrified of the technology,
and the first step is to get beyond that. Once we're willing
to dive in and take some risks, I truly believe we'll
find that we've only scratched the surface of the potential
that electronic communications holds for ministry.
Dave: It is definitely a must if you
want to be effective. It’s one of those trends that
if you don’t utilize, you will be left behind. We
use it to get information out there, to get devotions
to them. I try to give them positive things that they
can do on the internet. I pass on any good sights that
will keep them busy and out of the bad stuff.
LTS: Many thanks to both Dave and Brandon
for sharing their "real world" thoughts and
experience on youth ministry. Feel free to take their
information and run with it in your own ministry efforts
or in your youth interaction. We'd love to hear your thoughts,
too. Email us here.
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Cyber Reach
updated 8/16/04
There’s
a great deal of interesting and useful Internet sites
for youth ministry. Some are targeted at specific denominations,
such as LIFEteen
for Catholics and MethodX
for Methodists.
Others cross the denominational lines to provide insight
regardless of specific doctrinal issues. A good example
of this is RELEVANTmagazine.
This relatively new site tackles subjects related to contemporary
culture, especially the music and movie scene. You’ll
also find invigorating and challenging articles on faith
and God.
Check out Underground
411 for great, thoughtprovoking
teaching, sharing and resources (Dave Lewis from the
above interview has a blog there) and some good links
to other good youth sites.
You can read writing by fellow teens, and additional resources
at Teen
Light.
There is a lot of really good music these days by artists
with a Christian message and a sound that is very much
cutting edge. Go to M88 for a radio station that plays
this music and to Interlinc for a site that promotes
it.
Find out safe and good ways to enjoy chat rooms and witness
to God's love and the Gospel power in your life with these
tips courtesy of Gospelcom
A flash(y) media and interactive web destination for young
people is WuzupGod,
a youth outreach of the God
Speaks site (the people behind those billboards with
messages from God).
Training resources worth investigating include the: Journal
of Youth Ministry found at Youth
Specialties Academics along with a large amount of
useful content at the main site for Youth
Specialties.
Dare
2 Share Ministries, an independent evangelism training
ministry.
Youth
for Christ,
featuring resources for youth ministry
training and intense evangelism for students
and youth leaders.
For a number of years the “See
You at the Pole” event in September has promoted
grass roots evangelism in mainly high schools. The
event
has rallied students around the flagpole in the morning
before classes began for prayer, an effective silent
witness
that promotes interest and dialogue from other students.
The event got its start with a small group of teenagers
in Burleson, Texas in 1990. Since then it has spread
to middle schools and college campuses and internationally
in more than 20 countries, including Canada, Korea and
Australia. This year’s event is scheduled for
September 15, 2004. More information can be found
at the website
www.syatp.com.
It's no secret that many young people have problems with
drugs, alcohol and other addictions. Here's a site that
provides resources and help for teens and their families:
School
for Troubled Teens.
Another movement that has made a big impact over the past
couple of years is The Call. It is a gathering of believers,
mostly young people, engaging in prayer and worship. Unlike
many Christian stadium events, The Call does not attract
people by focusing on certain speakers or musical groups.
Instead, the focus is on worship, prayer, fasting and
imparting a passion for God among a new generation of
believers. Preachers and musicians that participate on
the program are not pre-announced. You can read more about
it at Assist
News Ministries or visit the a website for The
Call.
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Scripture taken from the
Holy Bible, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®.Copyright ©
1973, 1978, 1984 International Bible Society. All rights
reserved throughout the world. Used by permission of International
Bible Society.
NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION® and NIV® are registered
trademarks of International Bible Society. Use of either
trademark for the offering of goods or services requires
the prior written consent of International Bible Society.
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy
Bible, New Living Translation, copyright ©1996. Used
by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton,
IL 60189, USA. All rights reserved
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